I Am NOT a Victim!

I am tired of feeling like it’s shameful to talk about it – when it is a widespread problem that will never be solved in a closet or under a rug!

I was abused as a child, and several members of my family have been also.

If we do not break the silence and ROAR! above the shame, then the cycle cannot be stopped!

 Sexual abusers create sexual abusers and/or victims. I say, NO MORE!I ROAR! – WE ARE NOT WHAT HAPPENS TO US!

We have a choice to EXIT the cycle with competent professional help!!  THERE IS NO SHAME in getting help!


I did… and it was hard… and cost me a lot… and it hurt… but it also FREED ME from being a victim/abuser!  I AM NOT EITHER!

I am who I am, and ABUSE DOES NOT DEFINE ME!

It does NOT define you either!

Spread your wings.

Open your mouth, and ROAR!


Love and hugs, Mary Joy 

Read more about my healing and seeking joy in my blog:  http://maryseekingjoy.blogspot.com/


  1. Mary Joy, we met right after ROAR! first went public and you shared with me how ROAR! gave you permission to no longer feel like a victim and how you shared this with other women too. I have NEVER forgotten your story and I am so grateful to have you represented here on my my website.

    You are brave, you are wonderful, you are magnificent, and so are those whose lives you have saved by going public with your ROAR! Thank you, Cinda

  2. I’m Mary Joy’s mother. Sometimes, victims don’t realize that they are victims. It took me a very long time (40 years) to realize that I was abused. As a child, we were abused with beatings, but it became my “normal”. So, when I got married, I found someone to “abuse” me verbally. I wasn’t able to see it as that until one day I just “woke up”. It took every ounce of courage I could muster to leave him. I’ve got a little bit of Angelic Divine help at every step, but I have always hidden this, looking at it as a curse rather than a boon. I was given the ability to see my own death if I stayed with him and the only way to keep living was to leave him. That was 5 years ago and I’m grateful I ROARED…I left with a ROAR. It wasn’t labeled that until now. Today, Mary Joy and I looked at wisdom cards. I have Divine Guidance in my past and the present and the way to the future. It brought me to tears to read that, but I’ve decided that the wisdom I have is to be shared now. ROAR!!! Maybe it’s just for me to see what I’m supposed to be about now. Maybe I can help others to recognize their Inner Selves. Maybe I’m just supposed to take it one day at a time. All I know is that I recognized the Divinity within me and am willing to follow the Guidance. I’m so proud of my wise wonderful daughter, who has found her brave Self and is willing to follow her own wisdom. Together, we are NOT looking back. Together, we have the patience to follow our hearts. Together, we will have the freedom we so richly deserve. Cinda, you are a huge part of the wisdom that all victims of abuse…all kinds of abuse…can hold onto and move forward out of the ashes of their story. Thank you for being part of mine.

  3. Karen, OMG!!! What a powerful ROAR! you shared, if you would like me to post it as a ROAR! of its own, I can do that for you! Mary is extra special and now I see why!!! What a force you two will be as you bond together and help other women heal and ROAR! Thank you so very much, I feel so blessed that you trusted me with your story! I know it will help so many others! Cinda

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